Wednesday’s guest post from Chelo:
When I knew we were going to America I got all crazy and excited. I couldn’t wait to shop in the malls, ride on gargoyle freeways and have Chinese food delivered!
What I hadn’t counted on was that my mom would move me to Idaho. It has been chiropractic. I’m learning that Shopko can be a mall anchor store along with JC Penny’s and Sears. I am learning that freeways can have two lanes and not be crowded. One time we even had Chinese food, (but they didn’t deliver).
That is when I found out I like fortune cookies. My fortune said, “Your enthusiasm will bring you happiness.” My mom’s said, “Your dream will come true when you are least expecting it.” I figure if we ate enough fortune cookies, everything would be “hunky dory” (they say that in Idaho). The man who is now my uncle said his cookie said, “Help! I’m being held prisoner in a Chinese cookie factory!”
Idaho does not have big cities. They pretend they do, and I am too political to tell them that these are not cities. One day I heard two women talking in the grocery store. One was a cousin from L.A. She said she’d be afraid to travel in Idaho because what if her car broke down? Her cousin said, “Everyone who drove by would stop and help you. The nearest farmer could tow you to a shop with the winch on the back of his pickup. It would be the safest place to have car trouble.” She added, “I’d be afraid of having my car break down in downtown L.A.”
You know you’re in Idaho if:
– You leave your keys in the car and the next morning it’s still there.
-The wind is faster than your truck.
– You installed your new computer using a Leatherman tool.
– People don’t say “stream” or “brook,” they say “crick.”
– The elevation exceeds the population.
– You got a set of snow tires for Valentines Day.
– The bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.
– Your back yard smells like sagebrush.
– A rodeo is more popular than a rock concert.
– A yellow light means “follow the car in front of you no matter what.”
– You wave to someone on the freeway because you recognize the truck.
-Your second vehicle is a tractor.
-You drove when you were fourteen—at least that’s when you no longer ducked if you saw the sheriff.
– Maps and gloves are kept in your truck’s “jocky box.”
And the reason I decided I liked it here?
– You can see the stars at night.