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Chelo Wednesday

Susan asked me to edit this a bit shorter, so to get to the gritty dirty, here are 5 pointers on what guys like. (Note: none of these always work—everyone is different—some girls love hockey—it’s true—and some guys love theater.)

1. They like to help you with physical stuff. Sure you are strong enough to carry that table into a room and set it up, but if a guy is around—don’t you dare do it. Let them open the tight jar for you, and climb the ladder. It is not that you can’t do it, but it is easier for them to, and sometimes, it’s just real stuck. *However, don’t get so helpless that you have a meltdown in front of them. Guys do not like it when girls fall apart. Sometime you may not be able to help it, but try to minimize the episodes. You are not a soap opera!

2. If you want to give a guy a treat, do not give him a skinny slice of cheesecake or a little, frilly cupcake. Guys do not do tea parties. Give him a pint of his favorite ice-cream, or a dozen red donuts.

3. Don’t make him endure chick flicks or musicals often. Go with your girlfriends while he takes the guys hunting in the mud.

4. Don’t drag a guy along to go shopping. There is one exception—he might enjoy watching you try on some things—but only two or three items. And then, go with him someplace he likes, like to look at ginormous T.V.’s. (that are tuned to a ball game) and electronic cables and square, black speaker boxes. (I know ladies, I don’t get it either. There is no design at all involved, except sometimes the speakers come in white. But some guys just love to look at electronics.)

5. This one is a secret to be used sparingly. We all know guys like back rubs, but something you may not know is they like their ears rubbed. They actually melt! So if he’s going to watch “Love Me to the End of Time” with you, practically with toothpicks in his eyes, reach up and with your thumb and first two fingers, gently massage his ears.

Now, just a couple of hints for men, in case any guy decides to read this far. By no means is this everything, but it will help. I’ll keep them short, because guys like bullet points, not lengthy explanations—oops.

How to keep women happy:

1. Hold them—don’t fix them. If they are having a crying meltdown, the only thing you need to say is “I’m sorry,” or “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

2. Tell them they are beautiful every time you see them.

3. Watch her choice of entertainment once in awhile—bargain for a ball game or “Jackie Chan, Revenge of the Ninja XXVII” if you must.

4. If she loves to shop, ask her to help shop for you—but only once in a few months, you don’t have to encourage her.

5. Hold her hand. Girls like simple gestures, and there is a lot of electricity when a guy takes their hand. On the same note,
5 B. —keep good-bys special. Make her feel like you really do hate ending your time together.

So there you have it. Five simple things to get you started. If you have a sure fire one, be sure to let the rest of us know, we’re all trying to figure this stuff out.